Aaron Likens is an author, national autism advocate, professional public speaker, and the official flagman for INDYCAR. Diagnosed with autism at age 20, Aaron uses his platform to raise awareness, foster understanding, and share the power of inclusion—on and off the racetrack.
To say gaming has had an impact on my life would be an understatement. There are so many ways to gauge instrumental moments in life, but I know without any doubt that I would not be doing what I’m doing in life if not for the conversational skills I learned through games.
In December of 2003, I got my Asperger’s diagnosis. I got bad information about what it meant, and instead of learning about the full spectrum and the skills I have because of it, it felt much like a life sentence of hopelessness. However, just two months after my diagnosis, I got Xbox Live, and for the first time in my life, I was gaming with people from around the world.
Did this magical transformation happen overnight? Did I go from no conversational skills to being able to dance the conversational dance like a masterclass dancer? Oh no, most certainly no. In fact, I didn’t speak for my first two months playing online, and I can remember my dad saying, “Hey, I’ve been watching, and you’ve been racing the same people over and over, why don’t you say hello?” Hello? Really, he wanted me to say hello. I didn’t know these people, and why would I want to open myself up to the world? I replied to my dad, “Oh no, that’s against the rules.” Rules? What rules? I tried to come up with some sort of logical answer as to what rules I was referring to, but I knew I was beat. When my dad asked, I simply said, “You know, the rules.”
A month later, I moved up the leaderboards on a new racing game called ToCA Race Driver 2, and the people I raced constantly gossiped about who I might be. A retired F1 driver? A seven-year-old prodigy from Sweden? A current NASCAR driver? It was downright humorous, but eventually it grew tiresome, and with a great sense of nervousness, I clicked my microphone button, and it went from red to green, and my voice went over the gam,e and all the talking stopped. The people I was racing against all went silent, and there was a long awkward silence that then followed, but slowly conversation started up once again after I introduced myself to the gaming world.
The following days, weeks, and months were a slow process of learning the steps to the dance that is conversations. I had no ability to stay in step and my timing was more than often off when I’d try to converse in person, but the advantage of playing a racing game is that most of the people that were playing the game knew about racing and I was almost an encyclopedia on current races and the history of racing so I was often right in the midst of the dance. I didn’t know it, but the seeds of who I’d become in life were being planted, and I was having a blast in the process.
I didn’t realize it then, but the sense of belonging was life-changing. My diagnosis, to me back then, meant I’d never have friends and would be isolated for the rest of time, and yet I was having daily conversations with the same group of people each day, and that’s the beauty of gaming. While we often were focused on the games we were playing, for myself when I play a game, my social defenses go down and I can converse. In the right environment, I could now participate in the dance of socializing, and it was through these games I learned pacing, voice inflection, and all of that carried over to my ability to be a public speaker.
It’s difficult for me to think about what my life would’ve been like had I not started playing online when I did. When I needed it most, I found that I could be part of a community and that those people I didn’t know weren’t all that scary after all. The debate back then was, “Are online real friends?” After attending many Indy 500’s with those friends I made back in 2004, and meeting countless others throughout the years all over the world, I can say undoubtedly yes, and without the circle of friends that have grown throughout the years, I don’t know how I’d ever have learned the skills of friendship, conversations, and public speaking which all grew my confidence and allowed me to become the person I am today.
